One day, I woke early in the morning to watch the sunrise. I saw the beauty of God’s creation (it is beyond description). As I watched there, I felt the Lord near me, talking to me. He asked me, “Do you love me?”
I answered, “Of course, God! You are my Lord and Saviour!” Then He asked, “If you were physically disabled would you still love me?”
And I answered, “It would be hard Lord, but I would still love you.
Then the Lord said, “If you were blind would you still love My creation?”
How could I understand the beauty without being able to see it? Then I thought about all the blind people in the world and how many of them still love God and His creation.
So I answered, “It’s hard to think of it, but I would still love You.”
The Lord then asked me, “If you were deaf would you still listen to My word?”
How could I understand noises if I was deaf? Then I understood. Listening to God’s Word is not merely using our ears, but our hearts. I answered. “It would be hard but I would still listen to Your word.”
Then the Lord asked, “If you were mute, would you still praise My name?” How could I praise without a voice? Then it occurred to me, God wants us to sing from our very heart and soul. It Is not important how we sing. And praising God is not always with a song, but when we are persecuted (hurt) we give God praise with our words of thanks.
So I answered, “Though I could not physically sing, I would still praise your name.”
And the Lord asked, “Do you really love me.”
With courage and a strong conviction, I answered “Yes Lord! I love You, because You are the one and true God! “I thought I answered well, but God asked,
“Then why do you sin?” I answered, “Because I am only human. I am not perfect.”
“Then why in times of peace do you go a long way away from me?” Why only in times of trouble do you pray hard.”
No answer. Only tears.
The Lord continued: “Why only sing at church and why seek me only in times of worship?” Why ask so selfishly? Tears continued to roll down my cheeks. “Why are you ashamed of Me? Why are you not spreading the good news? Why in times of persecution (or trouble), you run to others when I offer My shoulder to cry on? Why make excuses when I give you opportunities to serve in My name?” I tried to answer, but there was no answer to give.
“You are blessed with life. I made you, do not to throw this gift of life away. I have blessed you with talents to serve Me, but you continue to turn away. I have revealed My Word to you, but you do not gain in knowledge. I have spoken to you, but your ears were closed. I have shown My blessings to you, but your eyes were turned away. I have sent you servants, but you sat idly by as they worked away. I have heard your prayers and I have answered them all.
Do you truly love me?”
I could not answer. How could I? I was embarrassed beyond belief. I had no excuse. What could I say to this? When in my heart, I had cried out and the tears had flowed, I said, “Please forgive me Lord. I am unworthy to be your child.”
The Lord answered, “That is My grace, My child.”
I asked, “Then why do You continue to forgive me? Why do You love me so?” The Lord answered, “Because you are My creation. You are My child. I will never abandon you. When you cry, I will have compassion and cry with you. When you shout for joy, I will laugh with you. When you are down, I will encourage you. When you fall, I will raise you up. When you are tired, I will carry you. I will be with you till the end of days, and I will love you forever.” Never had I cried so hard before. How could I have been so cold? How could I have hurt God as I had done?
I asked God, “How much do you love me?”
The Lord stretched out his arms, and I saw His nail-pierced hands. I bowed at the feet of Christ, my Saviour. And for the first time I truly prayed.
Copyright © 2010 Christian Widianto